In moments of pure ecstasy, we blurt the words out. “God, I love that painting!” “I loooove your shoes!” “I would love to go to Greece.” “Thank you, I would love a glass of wine.”
How does your heart, the one that feels the difference between grief and the kind of interaction with other humans (and animals – they know animals can produce a feeling of comfort and care that is primal enough to be love)…how does that heart sort out love for art or food from the vital love necessary for life on earth?
Countless studies prove the lack of love and touch has a negative effect on children. Imagine the feelings of those who live on 60 or 70 decades without the experience of a soul shuddering love.
To be that unfilled and left with empty spaces where they should be warm, billowy embraces and made to walk about daily life listening to people throw around their love for each other. “Ok, nice talking to you. Yeah, lets do lunch and I’ll get you that lamp from the attic. If I can remember where it is. Yeah. Love you! Bye.” “Oh, I love pound cake. I’ll have a slice of that and a latte, hot.” “Gosh, your baby is so cute. I love that fabric, where did you find it?” “It was so interesting meeting you last month, I can’t wait for next month. We are going to have so much fun! Love ya!” It seems the only occasions the language of love is clear and unencumbered by someone’s ego is from someone on the street who announces , “God loves you!” How quickly is the word love thrown into our daily language when really what we MEANT to say is, “Those colors really speak to me, the way the brown turns into red…reminds me of the barns up in Maine.” “Those shoes look great on your feet. You have a knack for finding just the right accessory for your outfit.” “I have always wanted to go to Greece, I could plan for that.” “A glass of wine sounds delicious, thank you.”
When did goodbye become Love you? Love you said to anyone, handed out like samples in the store. Come try this cheese a few times, and you get a “love you”. Love you is a trick of sorts. Oh, I must mean something to her. She couldn’t possibly say that to everyone she knows? Until, soon the newness of friendship wears off or the frequency of evenings out decrease. The “Love you’s” and fascination with your shoes and choice of wine become stale and shelved for reuse.
I love what I love (few foods and places get this status) and I love who I love. I have love for everyone, anyone. It is rooted in a respect for our humanness, not in our interaction. Everyone comes with a certain amount of pureness and care for what it is. Just the same, I can like something very much….the way things come together, time spent, an event, a meal. Does it make is any more special or exquisite because I announce love? Do people benefit from an announcement of love? or do they just get propped up on something they heard only to have it kicked out from under them when they aren’t looking?
It seems people are hard on others when they dare to let their feelings out, only to be met with a “Chin up! It’s not that bad. It could be worse!” “Just turn your attitude around!” “Don’t think that way, be positive and positive things will happen.” They are given dismissive responses, turned out to a cold wind. When it is light and breezy…the “loves” flow freely. Offered at sale prices. Hell, I’m giving them away! Love this, love that, love you.
Dismissive when it’s important and fluffy when it’s not.
So from where I sit, if I say I like it, it means I really did enjoy it. If I say it looks good, I mean…it appeals to my tastes and I am complimenting your efforts. If I send my love, I mean that, too. I won’t yank it away when it’s boring or difficult. I promise not to mislead you with the exquisite gift that love is, but I will be happy to celebrate it with you if when it comes your way.
Next up is “I’m sorry.” ………