Sleep to the stars
Wrapped in a familiar smell
Under the warmth of someone’s love.

Walk the steps
Over and over again
The disbelief, the stun, the bargain.

Find a way while waiting for peace
Leaning into the clear view
Come to truth, what is pure and open.

Arms spread wide for balance
Listen for the songs from far off lands
He is as old as every star, as sturdy as love can make him.

When I wrote http://wp.me/p3AA73-89 , I really thought it was an exercise in closing that door.  I thought it was the best way to wrap that whole experience in a tidy package and put it to rest.

It wasn’t.  Today, I am sitting bedside to my husband in a Mayo Clinic Hospital. He has been diagnosed with a Tcell Lymphoblastic Lymphoma and just finished his first round of chemotherapy.

One of the hardest things to watch is his struggle to find logic in this.  And to find his way back to his family in some manner that is civil and caring.  His parents are aging and this is a difficult discussion for them.  It’s not my job, really and coming to terms with our original families is a solo walk, isn’t it?

A phone call was not really an option, his dad is hard of hearing which makes comprehension just a little circus in your cell phone.  Understanding the level of fear and sorrow, I thought buying some blank cards and stamps might help.  So, yesterday, I went to CVS and browsed the greeting card aisle.  His parents have always been in favor of a pretty card vs. a funny card.  None of them were appropriate.  How do you design a card meant to offer comfort from the one who is suffering to others in order to quell their fears?

I bought a box of 8 cards, some sort of chrysanthemum art on it in a pleasant green.  $9.99 and a packet of stamps.  I helped him throw some sentences down,  words of reassurance that he’s okay, confident in his care and looking forward to remission and some visits. He ended it with Love, Kim.

I licked the seal and placed a stamp.

And we noticed the card was adorned with glitter.   Of course, it was.


About kat9090

Hafu (Half Japanese), Late Discovery Adoptee, Sister, Mom, Daughter, Wife, I cook, look back, look forward, lean left, drive a lot, write a lot, wish a lot, I will be square with you if you are square with me. Find me on Instagram @shojikat and Twitter @biteme9090
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s